Xue Yang Consumes A Pound of Skittles A Day and Doesn't Notice Whether That's the Candy or Coricidin

[x_los]

excaliburedpan ‘had a very long conversation about what party drugs a modern AU murder twink Xue Yang would be doing on the daily’, when she might simply have had a much shorter conversation about the ones he wouldn’t. 

 

excaliburedpan believes he would be partial to ‘the Glasgow favourite of poppers and coke’, and the budget option, Skittles. aralias suggested he might not be able to afford them, but Xue Yang’s commitment to candy every day surely surpasseth all such understanding. 

 

Every time Xue Yang sees the 'you wouldn't steal a car' ad he goes out and steals a car, just to show the DVD. excaliburedpan suggests that Xue Yang (the Untamed's Greebo) leaves these outside Song Lan's house to frame him for grand theft auto in a long game bid to fuck Song Lan’s boyfriend. Song Lan suggests this to Xiao Xincheng, who insists that “Xue Yang wouldn’t do that, he's a sweet dude! He took care of me when I was sick, he kept making me soup!” 

 

“Was the soup drugged?” 

 

“…oh he wouldn’t—”

Comments

[excaliburedpan]

I will say, as a Poor(tm) you can definitely afford daily skittles and that's not even factoring in how easy they are to shoplift. Also I had completely forgotten these conversations happened in the first place but like, still correct readings

[excaliburedpan]

THIS IS ABOUT PROPER SUGARY SKITTLES.

[x_los]

*slowly erasing your rep as Hard Drugs-Knower*

[cats_eyes]

'Can't afford' implies that Xue Yang, like, buys them as opposed to intimidating whoever has them into giving them to him, which seems like it would be more enjoyable for him.

100% agree about stealing cars to tell off the DVD, although to be fair they were very provoking! My mom's enough of a contrarian that every time she saw one of them she'd go 'oh YOU JUST WAIT'

[x_los]

Who among us has not been brought to the brink by the primordial urge to defy the DVD?

[tingler]

Narrator voice: The soup was drugged.

[x_los]

'and you stayed sick for two whole weeks, huh?'
'it was a BAD cold!!'

[ann712]

“Was the soup drugged?”

“…oh he wouldn’t—. It was EXCELLENT soup. Full of nutrients that kept me calm and happy for days. I saw UNICORNS.