![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
x_losA Dutch friend who's never carved a pumpkin before asked me how one went about it, and so I have written INCREDIBLY DETAILED instructions to produce a Paragon of Pumpkins. Fussy and over-complicated? Guys, I like to keep my shit /consistent/.
Great Pumpkin Be Praised,
Erin
***
"Thanks! I got your text about pumpkins, but unfortunately I misunderstood my syllabus and I have to finish the Aeneid, the Waste Land AND Dante's Inferno by Tuesday, so I apparently have to spend the weekend in hell. ...literally, it's the setting.
As for carving a pumpkin, this is my UNFAILING TECHNIQUE!! A secret I unveil ONLY TO YOU! ...you and the internet, ANYWAY--
It's derived from Renaissance Italian fresco-painting. I'm not even joking.
Spread newspaper on the ground outside, or in the kitchen. Place your pumpkin on top.
Cut a circular hole into the top your pumpkin with a big knife. Rip out its guts and throw them into a bucket--all the satisfaction of murder, none of the legal difficulties. Make sure to get all the gunk--you don't want the candle burning it/ it sullying your design. Save the seeds if you want to clean and roast them later! Fresh-roasted pumpkin seeds are divine washed, lightly oiled and salted/seasoned as you like, and baked in a hot oven. Do not bother to save the innards--they are difficult to cook with, in the absence of a full pumpkin. You may want to hollow out the sides to make this easier to carve, but TAKE CARE not to pierce the skin!
Print out/draw on a piece of paper (any kind) the design you want. Shade the negative space/cut out portions, and remember the simple but sometimes devilishly tricky proviso that enough pumpkin must be left intact to /allow/ for your designs--i.e. no free-standing shapes can exist with the negative space. I like to think of this as a design challenge! Ideally there should also be an interesting chiaroscuro effect, as a lit candle will be placed within the pumpkin.
Pin your drawing to the pumpkin, taking care to wrap and place it so size distortions are not so bad. Take a sharp, fine implement like a corn-cob holder and prick the outlines of your shaded negative space into the flesh of the pumpkin--this is similar to the charcoal-dust through pricked holes on a tracing sheet used in the Italian frescos. Thanks The Agony and the Ecstasy!
Remove the tracing sheet. Use a small knife to carefully cut along the shapes described by your pin-pricks, taking care not to confuse the pumpkin/positive space for the cut-out/negative space. Remove cut-out pieces carefully by pushing them into the hollow body. Trim sloppy edges, put your candle in.
You have the most badass pumpkin ever around. Do not be afraid if you find yourself somewhat sexually attracted to it--that is v. natural. Put it somewhere everyone can see/no drunk gits can smash. Probably not inside, unless you FUCKING LOVE the smell of autumn."
Great Pumpkin Be Praised,
Erin
***
"Thanks! I got your text about pumpkins, but unfortunately I misunderstood my syllabus and I have to finish the Aeneid, the Waste Land AND Dante's Inferno by Tuesday, so I apparently have to spend the weekend in hell. ...literally, it's the setting.
As for carving a pumpkin, this is my UNFAILING TECHNIQUE!! A secret I unveil ONLY TO YOU! ...you and the internet, ANYWAY--
It's derived from Renaissance Italian fresco-painting. I'm not even joking.
Spread newspaper on the ground outside, or in the kitchen. Place your pumpkin on top.
Cut a circular hole into the top your pumpkin with a big knife. Rip out its guts and throw them into a bucket--all the satisfaction of murder, none of the legal difficulties. Make sure to get all the gunk--you don't want the candle burning it/ it sullying your design. Save the seeds if you want to clean and roast them later! Fresh-roasted pumpkin seeds are divine washed, lightly oiled and salted/seasoned as you like, and baked in a hot oven. Do not bother to save the innards--they are difficult to cook with, in the absence of a full pumpkin. You may want to hollow out the sides to make this easier to carve, but TAKE CARE not to pierce the skin!
Print out/draw on a piece of paper (any kind) the design you want. Shade the negative space/cut out portions, and remember the simple but sometimes devilishly tricky proviso that enough pumpkin must be left intact to /allow/ for your designs--i.e. no free-standing shapes can exist with the negative space. I like to think of this as a design challenge! Ideally there should also be an interesting chiaroscuro effect, as a lit candle will be placed within the pumpkin.
Pin your drawing to the pumpkin, taking care to wrap and place it so size distortions are not so bad. Take a sharp, fine implement like a corn-cob holder and prick the outlines of your shaded negative space into the flesh of the pumpkin--this is similar to the charcoal-dust through pricked holes on a tracing sheet used in the Italian frescos. Thanks The Agony and the Ecstasy!
Remove the tracing sheet. Use a small knife to carefully cut along the shapes described by your pin-pricks, taking care not to confuse the pumpkin/positive space for the cut-out/negative space. Remove cut-out pieces carefully by pushing them into the hollow body. Trim sloppy edges, put your candle in.
You have the most badass pumpkin ever around. Do not be afraid if you find yourself somewhat sexually attracted to it--that is v. natural. Put it somewhere everyone can see/no drunk gits can smash. Probably not inside, unless you FUCKING LOVE the smell of autumn."
