For Kel- in response to that guy's letter, just to let you know the state of affairs

[x_los]

Hmm. I don't know whether to thank you for forwarding. You don't seem to be being malicious, so, err, thanks, I guess... In all honesty, Scone and I bet this is the same girl we yelled at for leaving a stupid review. She can suck it up- write a stupid review? Get a stupid response. Even the excerpt seems, well... a lot like the same bad writer.



As to being an active member of a forum like this, I live in the South- I fill up my daily irritating asshole contact quota just by walking out the door.



Man, I think you sound like a nice guy, but there's not really a need to make half a dozen references to how big you think my ego is. It's kind of mean spirited- and what do you hope to achieve by pointing out that you find me egotistical?



I'm sorry if I've rubbed you (or is it you guys?) the wrong way somehow, but I really don't see how this tiny discussion in a rather small fandom chock full of arrogant people (man, if you think I'm a piece of work, you should see the C:KND message board...) got to be the business of a forum of other people I don't even know, who are apparently kvetching about me behind my back. I really haven't been active enough in that sphere to warrant such attention; unless she's decided she wants to carry out a personal grudge where I can't see her do it. Should I be as bemused and hurt as I feel?

Comments

[x-los.livejournal.com]

C:KND message board? where? really should open my eyes to all the world's ugly wonders, hehehe.

>I really haven't been active enough in that sphere to warrant such attention; unless she's decided she wants to carry out a personal grudge where I can't see her do it. Should I be as bemused and hurt as I feel?

Nope - (has just reread the thread) - doesn't sound like a dibber dobber. Ok, spare you from curiosity, yes, the thread WAS started by Wusai. It looks like she bought it up coz she had no clue what your reply was actually trying to say to her. Someone cut your reply down from 600some words to 100some words though! Maybe some meaning was left out, but yeah, I needed that translation, hehe.

Anywayz, sorry if I had offended you somewhat with my last email. For me, people with big egos are the ones who are smart enough (or worthy) to be arrogant - you get some nice arrogant people and then you've got the malicious ones who "disparage fanfics for themselves"...although I admit that I still haven't seen one. Maybe I'm hanging around the wrong sections.

Whoops, look at all the time I made you consume reading this rambling email. I'll end it there. Thanx for the reply though!

Z

(will save a copy of letter this time)

Broke up 2 earlier posts for word-limit issues

[x-los.livejournal.com]

So I said:

Wow- is it really the language that's an issue? I'm really, truly not meaning to brag, but... anyone who knows me would say, that's the way I talk. Especially when I'm flustered or angry, I tend to revert to words not everybody's comfortable with. You should see my homework assignments- they’re ALWAYS more convoluted that than review. I'm not trying to wow the world or be an elitist bitch, I've just always read a lot and honestly can't tell when I'm saying something that may be perceived as trying to 'sound smart.' I guess it's a lot harder to tell if you don't know me. I really should have considered that. Seriously -Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

I'm not a psuedo-litterary nerd. I'm just a huge honking honest to god literary nerd who wakes Scone up at four in the morning to tell her that she's finally figured out the obscure 1850's literary references hidden in Wilde's Dorian Grey. Scone, who read the same book, predictably did not give a damn. Hey, don't knock the nerdiness of that- that was like, my most blissful moment this year. I felt super in-the-know. Lit geekdom=awesome! It all has to do with references to Disraeli novels! And now that it’s summer, I can get down to reading the T.E. Lawrence translation of the Odessy! This is sooooo exciting!!!!! Shutting up now...

I dunno- is it an insult if someone says I have a big ego? I would consider it such because it means that you don't have any respect for other people, that you consider them fundamentally lesser people than yourself. That really demonstrates a lack of empathy with fellow human beings, a lack of ability to see that everyone's equal, uniquely talented in ways that compensate for their lack of skill in other fields. I guess I always worry about whether I'm being egotistical and try not to be, so it'd be a pretty big failure of a personal goal if it were true.

You're right, I really WAS in the wrong with coming down like that on the first girl, and need to find a way to apologize without making more of an ass of myself. I mean, it was a stupid review, but I was a bit too ready to make an example out of her. She probably didn't mean to come off as judgmental, though she sounded so to me. You seem to sort of know her. Any ideas as to how to get a hold of her and tell her that I didn’t mean to bite off her head and toss her body to the lions, that it was inappropriate to make an example of her and that I really was just having a colossal bad day?

All my life I've believed that if anyone was saying something about me, no matter HOW bad, I'd want to know about it. Whatever it was, it's better than not knowing, right? But is it really wussy if I say I would have been kind of happier knowing I wasn't this... disliked? Dude, bad female OCs have left the anime category and began a pilgrimage throughout ffn. It's getting scary- open a section- BAM! Marry Starfire Sunshine, Jedi Princess and Sailor Scout for the planet AMAZING, and your favorite cannon male character are making sweet, sweet out of character luv and popping out babies like over-stimulated rabbits. Scone says it's getting criminal over in Zelda fic. But how successful would I be in a group of people who think that when I try to explain a point, I'm deliberately trying to use 'big words'?

No, you’re deff. not an asshole. Basically, I like it when people respect me enough to not take for granted that I spent time on something and am not trying to screw with their minds. The very fact that you were nice and not immediately jumping down my throat, that you did what you thought was considerate and asked me what I was really doing put you into the 'cool guy' file in my book. Actually, I'm really kinda relieved that the thing was more over whether I was a psuedo-intellectual than anything else. I mean, I'm confident saying that I'm not like a duck is confident in saying it can swim. Thanks for telling me about this! It took guts, especially when I might, for all you knew, have just been a real unwarranted bitch to you about it!

Re: Broke up 2 earlier posts for word-limit issues

[x-los.livejournal.com]

Scone has the address. You really want it? I warn you- there's really bad Photoshop art, and a guy who, without any trace of shame, refers to himself as the owner of 'the best c:knd page out there.’ Man, does that guy have a Napoleon complex to end all...

A dibber-dobber?! That sounds like a delicious ice cream thing! I have no idea what it is, but it's making me hungry...

I wonder if I have any ice cream in the freezer? I’m going to go check…

Teakettle