Meander

There is, in addition to the sickness, a restlessness. I have to get out of here, if only for a weekend. If I go home I can get a doctor's appointment more quickly, and come back sunday night or monday morning in time for philosophy. I can have grandma take care of me and FINALLY get over this malaise, whereas here I keep running at low-level sick and thus am susceptible to continuing attacks.

I have to finish my scifi story- and wow that was just a badly conceived line of dialog from Toby, who'd never make a 'let us open our hymnals' reference- sorry, watching West Wing, anyway, scifi story. So finish it by tonight, tomorrow night at the latest. I can do it. I don't know whether it'll be good. Oh well, can't grow as a writer unless you expose your faults for purging.

I LOVE Lord Marburry, the British Ambassador on this show. Jackass. Charming. Swelling music cue. Hearken to Akira.

Can I do homework at home? dunnodunnodunno. I miss my kids and sleeping with my cat, and my daddy will make me chili and I can get him to make it without meat and we can watch DS9 and I can get away from here because sometimes I HATE it here, the bad food and the cold and the horrible accent-less voices, the nitpicking, expectations, drama, uncertainty and everyone's mood swings and the awkward, awkward conversations. Here is not great for my self-esteem- but that sounds more like my problem than anyone else's. I LOVE my friends here, but dorm life is a bit whelming.

Drivedrivedrivedrivedrive

Gotta get Danny his present- I'd leave now, but I have to stick around for Danny's birthday, I couldn't do that to him.

Ever get the feeling that someone is not just depressed, but is actually a different person from the person you thought you knew? Sharper, less forgiving and emotionally mature? Have they always been like this, though, and you just didn't notice they were? Are you just taking what they say out of context- are they really not that bitchy, you're just overreacting? What's the difference between a phase, a depressed period, SADS, and a personality, and to what extent can you trust your memory in these cases?

Need space. Need clear answers. Need a new fucking fish.

Meander

There is, in addition to the sickness, a restlessness. I have to get out of here, if only for a weekend. If I go home I can get a doctor's appointment more quickly, and come back sunday night or monday morning in time for philosophy. I can have grandma take care of me and FINALLY get over this malaise, whereas here I keep running at low-level sick and thus am susceptible to continuing attacks.

I have to finish my scifi story- and wow that was just a badly conceived line of dialog from Toby, who'd never make a 'let us open our hymnals' reference- sorry, watching West Wing, anyway, scifi story. So finish it by tonight, tomorrow night at the latest. I can do it. I don't know whether it'll be good. Oh well, can't grow as a writer unless you expose your faults for purging.

I LOVE Lord Marburry, the British Ambassador on this show. Jackass. Charming. Swelling music cue. Hearken to Akira.

Can I do homework at home? dunnodunnodunno. I miss my kids and sleeping with my cat, and my daddy will make me chili and I can get him to make it without meat and we can watch DS9 and I can get away from here because sometimes I HATE it here, the bad food and the cold and the horrible accent-less voices, the nitpicking, expectations, drama, uncertainty and everyone's mood swings and the awkward, awkward conversations. Here is not great for my self-esteem- but that sounds more like my problem than anyone else's. I LOVE my friends here, but dorm life is a bit whelming.

Drivedrivedrivedrivedrive

Gotta get Danny his present- I'd leave now, but I have to stick around for Danny's birthday, I couldn't do that to him.

Ever get the feeling that someone is not just depressed, but is actually a different person from the person you thought you knew? Sharper, less forgiving and emotionally mature? Have they always been like this, though, and you just didn't notice they were? Are you just taking what they say out of context- are they really not that bitchy, you're just overreacting? What's the difference between a phase, a depressed period, SADS, and a personality, and to what extent can you trust your memory in these cases?

Need space. Need clear answers. Need a new fucking fish.

(no subject)

I bought myself The Fifth Element while out buying Danny and Colin's Birthday presents. I couldn't resist. Therese and I are watching tonight and wallowing in our own self-pity/pity for eachother. Annie will probably wallow/enjoy Fifth Element with, it seems like a her-ish possibility. Anyone else is invited! It IS the deluxe edition, afterall. And this movie is a-man-zing.

(no subject)

I bought myself The Fifth Element while out buying Danny and Colin's Birthday presents. I couldn't resist. Therese and I are watching tonight and wallowing in our own self-pity/pity for eachother. Annie will probably wallow/enjoy Fifth Element with, it seems like a her-ish possibility. Anyone else is invited! It IS the deluxe edition, afterall. And this movie is a-man-zing.

(no subject)

Finished my Sci Fi assignment- clocked in at 17 pages and am impressed with this because it's been so long since I've written anything, let alone anything that substantial. Even if it is all crap, hey, it's crap with some heft to it. I feel proud of myself. Workshop will EAT it, because it is somewhat trite, and then hard/real workshop will just obliterate what's left, but maybe from the carcass will come something decent. Go me!

(no subject)

Finished my Sci Fi assignment- clocked in at 17 pages and am impressed with this because it's been so long since I've written anything, let alone anything that substantial. Even if it is all crap, hey, it's crap with some heft to it. I feel proud of myself. Workshop will EAT it, because it is somewhat trite, and then hard/real workshop will just obliterate what's left, but maybe from the carcass will come something decent. Go me!

(no subject)

Have been rereading old lj entries and I seem to be ill while writing about half of them. I think this is either a combination of me getting sick a lot and me being too busy to post any time except when I am sick, or hypochondria. Either way, interesting.

Have been trying to call Daddy to tell him I'll be home this weekend, but his phone line is busy because he's on the internet questing for gay porn (in all probability). Oh Lord, that one time we walked in the computer room and that guy with the Crazy Horse sn was all "Hey baby I've missed your love!" and Daddy was all frantic "He never HAD my love!" and we were very "Yeah, sure he didn't." And then we laughed and left him alone to do Unspeakable Things. Good times.

(no subject)

Have been rereading old lj entries and I seem to be ill while writing about half of them. I think this is either a combination of me getting sick a lot and me being too busy to post any time except when I am sick, or hypochondria. Either way, interesting.

Have been trying to call Daddy to tell him I'll be home this weekend, but his phone line is busy because he's on the internet questing for gay porn (in all probability). Oh Lord, that one time we walked in the computer room and that guy with the Crazy Horse sn was all "Hey baby I've missed your love!" and Daddy was all frantic "He never HAD my love!" and we were very "Yeah, sure he didn't." And then we laughed and left him alone to do Unspeakable Things. Good times.