Considderation

[x_los]

I saw this as a comment in a group I belong to, made by some anonymous individual named saintmichael. I thought it was a pretty interesting commentary. Not the definitive answer to the question, but an intriguing way to look at the difference. Vikki asked me something similar to his a few days ago, and sort of pushed me into thinking in this direction lately.

"Think about sex for a moment. Most people have sex or make love. The difference in how those two are worded is so very important. 'Having' is a passive sort of experience. It almost implies that sex just happens to a person.

This way of viewing sex is, by its very nature, detached. It separates the person from the act. 'Making' on the other hand is an active sort of experience. It is synonymous with creating, planning, and doing.

Avoiding just having sex makes sense for someone seeking a spouse. Seeking to make love makes even more sense for someone seeking a spouse. I'd put all my energy into finding someone to make love with. ;-)"

Rather, instead of a spouse, I would say for someone seeking a purpose. Not that there's anything wrong with those who choose the route of extra-relationship sex; it just doesn't seem to fit with my personality, which has always been very purpose oriented.

Comments

[dragonsallie.livejournal.com]

this is the truist thing i've read today. every time, i had sex. and it was okay. just okay. it felt like this passive, physical experience that everyone does and doesn't amount to much.

but i actually made love once. only once. and it was completely different... because every action meant something entirely different. something that goes deeper and lasts forever. but our relationship, as we both knew at that very moment, was impossible. and i'll never just "have sex" again.