Nothing makes me sadder than inappropriate, anachronistic use of the Turtle. Truly, the turtle, a martial move in which a legion of soldiers hold their rectangular shields above and along side them as they march to create a mobile, impregnable precursor to the tank is really cool to watch, and so it is tempting to plug it into a big battle scene so that the audience can chuckle at the cleverness.
When the Uruk-hai (spelling?) pulled it in The Two Towers, I was irritated at it happening in another dimension, but I let it go. When Achilles, however, whips it out in Troy, I just wanted to cry. Why invented the Turtle? Bloody Cesar, about the time of the purported birth of Christ. Who did Cesar come from? The FRIGGING TROJANS! Aeneas and Cereusa THE TROJAN PRINCESS to Ascanius/Iulus to the Julian Clan to Julius Cesar. So Achilles is using a move that won't be invented for, like, 3000 years and by the OTHER SIDE! AUUUUGH! Madness!
I've onl seen this done right ONCE, in bloody Cleopatra with rex Harrison. They're mucking about in Alexandra and Cesar's all 'check this out!' and it happens and everyone goes 'oooooh.' See? Everyone thinks these people were so primitive that just anyone could have thought up their great discoveries at anytime and doesn't realize that the Turtle is to ancient warfare what the Howitzer was to modern- a defining achievement. It's just disrespectful to steal the move, transplant it and act like the guy who came up with it was totally superfluous. Stupid movies.
When the Uruk-hai (spelling?) pulled it in The Two Towers, I was irritated at it happening in another dimension, but I let it go. When Achilles, however, whips it out in Troy, I just wanted to cry. Why invented the Turtle? Bloody Cesar, about the time of the purported birth of Christ. Who did Cesar come from? The FRIGGING TROJANS! Aeneas and Cereusa THE TROJAN PRINCESS to Ascanius/Iulus to the Julian Clan to Julius Cesar. So Achilles is using a move that won't be invented for, like, 3000 years and by the OTHER SIDE! AUUUUGH! Madness!
I've onl seen this done right ONCE, in bloody Cleopatra with rex Harrison. They're mucking about in Alexandra and Cesar's all 'check this out!' and it happens and everyone goes 'oooooh.' See? Everyone thinks these people were so primitive that just anyone could have thought up their great discoveries at anytime and doesn't realize that the Turtle is to ancient warfare what the Howitzer was to modern- a defining achievement. It's just disrespectful to steal the move, transplant it and act like the guy who came up with it was totally superfluous. Stupid movies.
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Date: 2004-05-23 07:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-23 08:05 pm (UTC)Meeble, Martial's a crazy sarcastic bitch.
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Date: 2004-05-24 02:47 am (UTC)And, ahem, I think it's supposed to be "Mantua," with an implied repetition of "debet."
Welcome to geekdom, Erin, we're glad to have you.
And I just actually found this LJ community that speaks entirely in Latin; it's so exciting!
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Date: 2004-05-24 11:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-24 05:32 pm (UTC)(must indulge geekdom)