Munich Christmas Markets, Saturday December 3, Afternoon

[x_los]

Airport Christmas Market / Wintermarkt am Flughafen München:

Surprisingly big and very lively, featuring an ice skating rink and, at least when we were there, generic but pleasant live music. How is this town arranged, that so many people (who presumably aren't all here to catch a flight) are using this space?

I was really full from having eaten at Hofbrauhaus, so only got this lumumba. "The drink consists of cocoa, sometimes accompanied by cream, and a shot of rum. Some alternatives replace the rum with amaretto or brandy."

Munich Airport is particularly poorly signed in German or English, confusingly arranged and oddly managed: good luck finding anywhere past the security gates to buy a bottle of water to take a pill with. Its one saving grace is that it is not particularly crowded. Security is mostly painless, but nevertheless, afford this airport plenty of time: you'll need it to find out where the fuck you're supposed to be. Also at every stage of customs, coming and going, border control seems to be making a special effort to harass brown passengers. (Great look lads, it's not like you have a reputation to live down or anything.) Traveling PoC should thus, unfortunately, expect to hand over another quarter hour of their lives as bullshit tax.

This is also where you begin to realise that unlike Vienna, Munich (despite its huge touristic festivals) is only limitedly interested in affording accommodation to English speakers. Fair play, but travel with someone who has at least rudimentary German, stick to very beaten paths or expect to get moderately fucked. I thought I was being paranoid or precious in reviewing German for several weeks before coming: no, that was baseline prep-work.

***

Pink Christmas, The Munich Gay Christmas Market:

Munich's gay district, with blurry photos I took of street signs while crossing. The Lesbians of Stop and Gays of Go:

I'm sorry these photos are so blurry! The quality of the lights they used made it difficult to capture effective pictures (truly a 'fairy land' effect), and the crowding was severe on a Saturday evening. "So what makes it a GAY Christmas market?" Prosecco offerings, pride merch, "I love Drag Queens" giant lebkuchen, buff sailor Christmas ornament and the mug design (every Christmas market within a city should ideally have its own distinctive annual mug design) was a Pride-stein.

Go to this market EARLY, or on a weekday. Otherwise it's just too packed and crowd-crammed to properly take it in and enjoy it. It is pretty though! I will say that for my people, we did well on aesthetics/cohesive theming. Though it's slightly a rejection of Bavarian camp, which seems het to me: surely it is the job of gays to out-camp, out-fuck, out-fight.

Munich has really bad mug-discipline compared to Vienna, with various stalls seeming to go their own way and several places employing glass, which is too fragile to pay the pledge fee for and take home as a souvenir. I mean you could, but I'm not fucking about with shards of glass lodged in my knitted jumpers.

***

Hofbrauhaus:

Some nice architectural features near Hofbrauhaus:

I wasn't really planning on going to any of Munich's beer halls because I don't really care about beer and I didn't fully get what they were. This would have been a mistake. These are a fucking experience. I just heard this was a good place to get regional food. I have never actually understood how you could have a major political event in a beer hall; this is now incredibly clear.

There are vast chambers of this in this one hall, it’s Viking feast territory. I don't think I'm giving you via pics an adequate idea of the sheer scale of this place, and the TEEMING quality.

'People won’t actually be wearing traditional Bavarian clothing just to have a drink—' wrong, incorrect.

One old man carried away 12 giant steins the size of my head simultaneously, what the fuck??

I was also not expecting so much singing. The house band, okay, but then the communal singing?

The din, the shared tables, the brutal fight for the waiter's attention and roving pretzel basket men--it was a lot. Definitely go.

I'd been told I'd hate weißwurst, the local boiled veal sausage, but it was fine. REMEMBER TO PEEL IT THOUGH. People also warned me the obazda cheese spread would be intense: it's literally just Southern American pimento. As in, this has to be where we get it from. The roast pork belly with cracking, cabbage, gravy and dumplings was nice--excellent crackling. It was all fine. The dumplings were a bit dull.

Comments

[pallas_rose]

Your pictures are wonderful; I am traveling vicariously and deeply enjoying it.

When I was stationed in Germany, someone in my unit bravely ordered the boiled veal sausage and christened them "baby belugas" given the tureen presentation (she happily ate them and ordered it again later). It has stuck in my mind forever.

[x_los]

That IS apt.