Manning Up for Tolstoy

[x_los]

I spent HOURS the other night looking at different adaptations of War & Peace, one of my favorite books. You may be able to sing along with the saga of epicfail that is my quest to reccomend to my girlfriend a book she actually likes, but if I haven't whined about it to you specifically (yet), Crime and Punishment failed like Raskolnikov's murder plan. A book of short stories (as close as I ever came to liking the genre) was deemed "okay, I guess." She thinks George R.R. Martin is unremarkable. Whereas I've loved everything she's reccomended to me--Time Traveler's Wife, Line of Beauty, Legend, The Hours? All great! The disparity is so frustrating!

I decided that, despite its length and Russian-ness, W&P might actually have been the way to go all along--great, engaging characters with interesting, intersecting relationships, lots of adventurey war schennanigans (though that's, er, not the point, I know), awesome prose and embroiled, affecting romantic plots--W&P has made me cry kind of a lot. But perhaps, after she's learned not to trust anything I ever say ever about books, a mini-series could share the love! We could watch an episode, and then more if she was into it! It might work!

I was so happy to find a very pretty 2007 version all in English on youtube. I settled in to watch it. I thought I'd be generous about it beginning in toooootally the wrong place. There was something--but no, perhaps I was just imagining it. I hoped I was imagining it. But as the scenes wore on it became devestatingly clear that no. No, I was right. And it wasn't just like, ONE person. The acting was uniformly /excruciating/.

"OH NO IT IS THAT SCHEMER. THE COUNT. HE WISHES TO TAKE THE INHERITANCE!
"...um, are you... okay I hate to ask, but are you being played by a dalek?"
"...MAAAAAAAAAYBE."

EVERYONE was played by Daleks. Or might as well have been. Also: the script, she was ham-fisted. The weird mash-up first scenes were only the beginning of the jumbled, VERY PRETTY hot mess.

Frustrated, I went over to watch the EPIC multi-million-dollar sixties solviet mini-series, which is known both as

1) The /Definitive/ Adaptation and one of the best examples of Solviet movie-making, and
2) home to some melodramatic schlock that the Americans just had to scrape into the bin before showing it on PBS.

I did find it online--the original cut, which I'm dubious about--but not ALL of it. And with English Subtitles. The girlfriend in question loathes subtitles (which I used to give her shit about, but she explained it rather well). Did I really want to watch hours of Solviet!War & Peace alone, even if I love the book? No. *sigh*

I complained to Meghan about My Deep Woes, and she said "Oh, I've read that." Now, Meghan is thirteen. I raised an eyebrow. "Oh have you, Meghan? Who's your favorite character? Was it the war? Maybe you liked the peace?" And she was like "Okay, so, maybe I have not read War and Peace."

But today we were picking out books for her book reports for the rest of the year, and she needed a historical fiction. She's insisting on reading W&P now, just to punk me.

In the translation I have, half the first page is in french. It's translated into English in the footnotes, but still.

Meghan visibly swallowed, manned up, and read on.

If she actually finishes it, I will throw her a frigging Russian-themed party, complete with madatory fur coat/hat costumes and kareoke!Anastasia (the movie). An suggests "real Russian tea with zavarka and kipyatok," (I'd need equipment on that one--"I will bleed your heart/through a samovar soon," etc.) and "Russian cartoons, like Cheburashka." I think also that weeeeeeird "Father Frost" Koschei and Babba Yaga movie. Also vodka, though not for the 13 year old--only in Mother Russia can 13 year olds drink.

Comments

[heather-macleod.livejournal.com]

"She thinks George R.R. Martin is unremarkable." So, I only met Katy once, but this makes me deeply question her judgment. But she likes you, so I guess her judgment isn't that bad. Ms. Katy - I mean no offense. I'm just obsessive. GRRM is my god, and a fairly traditional one, seeing as he is a monster of inhuman cruelty.

OMG sid I tell you Lena Heady (GORGO of the *ahem* "illustrious" 300) is Cersei? Yeah. How 'bout that.

[heather-macleod.livejournal.com]

Also, this whole w&p thing has raised my opinion of Meghan about 100%.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

I will be SO IMPRESSED if she like, finished book one.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

Nooooooo, her?! Cersei?! Have fun dying that hair blonde...

[heather-macleod.livejournal.com]

Well, fan photochop makes her look all right? Though one should take that for what it's worth. The Sean Bean/Ned adaptation looked fairly accurate, though. She could look OK, although I can't really vouch for her acting. 300 didn't exactly hold my attention.
I guess I think she is almost too beautiful, but that's probably just because my metal image of her is greatly influenced by her being basically irredeemable.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

Well, no, the Too Beuatiful thing kind of ties into the v.g. point you made about people treating the female character's actors as if their job was to meet a certain standard of attractiveness--not pretty enough to be Cat/Danny, etc. As if that was more important than being a good enough actress to portray their essential qualities. I'd be really disppointed if Cersei was inarguably attractive, but couldn't act for shit--and all I know about this woman's acting is that she was Fine as a Stoic Spartan.

[aralias.livejournal.com]

to be fair to both me and Grrr, i read his books before i'd even hit 16 years - it's not like erin recommended them to me but last week, only to be greeted with that 'it's all right, i guess'. mind you, i don't recall them fondly enough to want to start again 7 years later, so. i guess erin's assessment is fair in that way.

this:
I complained to Meghan about My Deep Woes, and she said "Oh, I've read that." Now, Meghan is thirteen. I raised an eyebrow. "Oh have you, Meghan? Who's your favorite character? Was it the war? Maybe you liked the peace?" And she was like "Okay, so, maybe I have not read War and Peace."

made me laugh, though. if war and peace was like that i'd totally read it ;) actually, i'm not against war and peace, but... i suspect i would be if i started reading any of it.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

Awwww, do I have to be fair to you? And not even my /name/ gets capitalized, what is this, e.e. cummings?

Well, when I get accepted somewhere I'm going to start reading my courselist books (because I'll already have been approved for modules, and I doubt the syllabi will shift THAT dramatically), so as to hopefully be largely done with them by the time classes roll around and thus prepared to write the essays/work more during the week, BUT after Hornblower and before THAT, I'm thinking of re-reading W&P and blogging along as I finish the individual books within it--and while I won't invite you to that party, PERHAPS you will be SO CHARMED by the recaps you will want to experience it for yourself!! Maybe. Probably not. But that's okay.

[aralias.livejournal.com]

your favourite character says, spoilers. i try not to learn about things i might one day read - so that only leaves two options - reading your recaps, or reading the book. well, three options - not reading either.

on the plus side, i've remembered to put 'full fathom five' on my memory stick. will upload tonight/tomorrow.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

:( That's crap, you watched two full seasons of Hornblower before reading the novels. If that's not spoilers... also see Musketeers--you knew stuff beforehand!

Thank you so much! I'd forgotten all about that.

[aralias.livejournal.com]

and it was really annoying- i spent the entire book, wondering which musketeer was going ot live. also with hornblower, i watched the show first eons ago, so there were always spoilers, but yes, i find it a bit annoying to go back to the books and go - ah yes, it's this event. interesting too, but also annoying.

[mister-duster.livejournal.com]

Good luck to your sister.

Have you suggested Never Let Me Go to your girlfriend? She might like that one, from what I understand of the Time Traveler's Wife.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

You know I'm not in love with Never Let Me Go? I know I had a *thing* for the guy who recc'd it to me, and so at the time I was INTO IT, but looking back, I didn't find it as emotionally affecting as Unconsoled. It was good, but not--not profoundly, touchingly so? I respected it for its competence more than loved it.







/

[neutralalienist.livejournal.com]

I have noticed that most adaptions of anything Historical And Epic tend to be very pretty and very little else.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

Well now, I like a lot of historical epics: I loved Cleopatra when I was a kid, the Hornblower miniseries is great, I love several Austen adaptations--though admittedly those are not very EPIC--but I think it can be done well? Lawrence of Arabia remains one of my favorite movies.