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Well. That was a thing that happened.
Oh it wasn't a /bad/ movie, really. Its a weird modernization (well, kind of) of the Odyssey, with Odysseus as the writer, Producersidon and Athena!director. Again, kind of. This is more inspiration ha adaptation. The producer's brought him in to fix a failing film collaboration (and apparently for sexy flirting). I've spent far too long watching it, though, and my friends have endured innumerable catty asides about a film /they're not even being forced to watch/. Sorry, friends.
Let's take this chronologically:
Initial thoughts:
* Omg, french director: do we have to follow your actress across your entire tiny, disorganized country with her boom mike? This shot has now been going on like, years of my life.
* Everyone in this has a FRENCH ACCENT GONE MAD.
*Alex: at least lulz?
me: French movies have never heard of these 'lulz' of which you speak!
* Oh god, this is such a weirdly sexual scene. :ike, the producer is grabbing the writer's tie, throwing his arms all over him, leaning in close to hiss a point. I am pretty sure I've written this at some point, tbh. I'm also pretty sure the odyssey was never this gay. You know, I'm willing to go along with the indolent French Mediterranean bay flirting?
...next week I have to rewatch Apocalypse Now.
...this is better.
* Oh great, crumbly plaster-of0paris statue face. Shit just got DEEP, yo.
* Slooooow tuuuuurn: face revoooooolves.
* Alex comes up with the Art Film Drinking Game:
Alex: do things artistically collapse?
me: dude I will be disappointed if it doesn't happen
Alex: man you need like, a checklist of things for this kind of shit
before you start. like a drinking game, but the liquid is your own bitter tears
Mid-stream reflections (multiple water-based allusions--brought to you by the Stephen Moffat Viral Marketing Campaign):
* Watching along in my French film, and what seems like a really amorphous tension between the lead couple and some light bickering just suddenly devolved into him just /bitch slapping/ her for very little apparent reason? I know its a period-film sort of thing (set/filmed in '60s Italy, which was large on the casual domestic abuse), but it was /really/ disturbing, and now I can't have anything like empathy for the male lead? And now it's just rolling along as though nothing's really happened?! what even.
* There's this long, sad conversation about how they're not going to sleep in the same bed any more. Very, very depressing. How long is this fucking film? It's been going on /ages/.
* The towels-as-togas motif is strong in this one.
* The redeeming point of this film is, tragically, the dress, hair, nudity-if-you-like-that-in-films, and the nice apartment. A /weird/ amount of nudity, as well.
* It's all very meta: a movie about making movies wherein everyone goes to the movies.
* Oh wow, someone comes around this movie theater with snacks, like it's a stadium! Excellent!
* Is Nice But Repetitious Girl the Chorus?
* And the award for frumpiest sweater goes to: girl on stage at the cinema! Congratulations--you look like you've been mauled by a muppet. Jo in Three Doctors is crushed that her pioneering work in wookie taxidermy and dying is not being recognized this year.
End! Sunny Capris! Where everything goes to shit. Well. Moreso:
* God GREAT outfit. V. light pink and green blouse, and gray tailored skirt.
* God, ten more min to go. Should not have kept stopping just b/c kind of intolerable. Should have powered through.
* Katy: just wait until you get to watch apocalypse now, eh? what fun
me: I could just watch the Buffy parody, with Xander
Katy: sounds much better, yer
* Dude, female character: you can't end your Dear John letter with 'I kiss you.'I know its just an expression, but it sets the wrong tone.
* Oh, car crash.
* Yep, main characters dead. Well, half of them anyway. All you're left with is modernist architecture and some v. nice Italian scenery. Farewell, remaining cast--it's been special.
* 'fin'
* Thanks for letting me know, film. I was unsure what the sudden cessation of movie meant. What could this be?! Oh, the end, thanks
* Glad Katy and I didn't watch it together-- worst date movie ever.
* "This is a superb movie, not only for the frequent nude shots of Bardot "--thanks, IMDB. Quality criticism, there.
Oh it wasn't a /bad/ movie, really. Its a weird modernization (well, kind of) of the Odyssey, with Odysseus as the writer, Producersidon and Athena!director. Again, kind of. This is more inspiration ha adaptation. The producer's brought him in to fix a failing film collaboration (and apparently for sexy flirting). I've spent far too long watching it, though, and my friends have endured innumerable catty asides about a film /they're not even being forced to watch/. Sorry, friends.
Let's take this chronologically:
Initial thoughts:
* Omg, french director: do we have to follow your actress across your entire tiny, disorganized country with her boom mike? This shot has now been going on like, years of my life.
* Everyone in this has a FRENCH ACCENT GONE MAD.
*Alex: at least lulz?
me: French movies have never heard of these 'lulz' of which you speak!
* Oh god, this is such a weirdly sexual scene. :ike, the producer is grabbing the writer's tie, throwing his arms all over him, leaning in close to hiss a point. I am pretty sure I've written this at some point, tbh. I'm also pretty sure the odyssey was never this gay. You know, I'm willing to go along with the indolent French Mediterranean bay flirting?
...next week I have to rewatch Apocalypse Now.
...this is better.
* Oh great, crumbly plaster-of0paris statue face. Shit just got DEEP, yo.
* Slooooow tuuuuurn: face revoooooolves.
* Alex comes up with the Art Film Drinking Game:
Alex: do things artistically collapse?
me: dude I will be disappointed if it doesn't happen
Alex: man you need like, a checklist of things for this kind of shit
before you start. like a drinking game, but the liquid is your own bitter tears
Mid-stream reflections (multiple water-based allusions--brought to you by the Stephen Moffat Viral Marketing Campaign):
* Watching along in my French film, and what seems like a really amorphous tension between the lead couple and some light bickering just suddenly devolved into him just /bitch slapping/ her for very little apparent reason? I know its a period-film sort of thing (set/filmed in '60s Italy, which was large on the casual domestic abuse), but it was /really/ disturbing, and now I can't have anything like empathy for the male lead? And now it's just rolling along as though nothing's really happened?! what even.
* There's this long, sad conversation about how they're not going to sleep in the same bed any more. Very, very depressing. How long is this fucking film? It's been going on /ages/.
* The towels-as-togas motif is strong in this one.
* The redeeming point of this film is, tragically, the dress, hair, nudity-if-you-like-that-in-films, and the nice apartment. A /weird/ amount of nudity, as well.
* It's all very meta: a movie about making movies wherein everyone goes to the movies.
* Oh wow, someone comes around this movie theater with snacks, like it's a stadium! Excellent!
* Is Nice But Repetitious Girl the Chorus?
* And the award for frumpiest sweater goes to: girl on stage at the cinema! Congratulations--you look like you've been mauled by a muppet. Jo in Three Doctors is crushed that her pioneering work in wookie taxidermy and dying is not being recognized this year.
End! Sunny Capris! Where everything goes to shit. Well. Moreso:
* God GREAT outfit. V. light pink and green blouse, and gray tailored skirt.
* God, ten more min to go. Should not have kept stopping just b/c kind of intolerable. Should have powered through.
* Katy: just wait until you get to watch apocalypse now, eh? what fun
me: I could just watch the Buffy parody, with Xander
Katy: sounds much better, yer
* Dude, female character: you can't end your Dear John letter with 'I kiss you.'I know its just an expression, but it sets the wrong tone.
* Oh, car crash.
* Yep, main characters dead. Well, half of them anyway. All you're left with is modernist architecture and some v. nice Italian scenery. Farewell, remaining cast--it's been special.
* 'fin'
* Thanks for letting me know, film. I was unsure what the sudden cessation of movie meant. What could this be?! Oh, the end, thanks
* Glad Katy and I didn't watch it together-- worst date movie ever.
* "This is a superb movie, not only for the frequent nude shots of Bardot "--thanks, IMDB. Quality criticism, there.
