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I am not Phil.
Nov. 2nd, 2010 11:23 pm"Dear Friend of The University of Iowa:
Phil lives on the University of Iowa campus -- and far beyond it. Phil is all around us, all the time. And Phil helps make anything possible.
Who's Phil? "Phil," short for "Phil Anthropy," is every single UI giver and beneficiary -- including you!
You can learn more about Phil by viewing our special online presentation of "Phil Was Here," the University of Iowa Foundation's 2010 Annual Report on Giving to The University of Iowa.
Please take a moment to view some of Phil's incredible stories -- and to share yours, if you like, since you're Phil, too.
Thanks, Phil, for all that you do for our remarkable University!
Your Friends at The University of Iowa Foundation"
Dear University of Iowa:
1. You ask me this just out of Uni? In *this* economy? Who is your dealer, because I want a hit of this sweet mind-melting crackity crack you're on.
2. As you may have guessed from the above, I have NO money. In fact, a quick cross-reference with your own internal databases would have shown that I'm in grad school, on heavy student loans, so really, you could have saved yourself some time and me some annoyance by just removing me (and let's be honest, anyone /not/ from Chi-town) from your *immediate* hit-up-list. But you couldn't be arsed, apparently.
3. If I HAD money to give to charity, it would be to something better than you. It would be to *anything* or one I thought might actually need it, before it would be you, for your new football stadium enlargement or whatever the fuck that will almost inevitably be more associated with hawk body parts than the itself-somewhat-problematic-but-at-least-theoretically-respectable college of liberal arts and sciences.
Take a look around your office. Is there a stapler? I would give it to that stapler first. I would sooner paint it a gentle chartreuse, and pay for its upkeep, preservation and maintenance. And dear, dear University of Iowa? I *hate* chartreuse.
4. If I were not already of the above opinion, your vom-inducing shoddy word-play would have signed, sealed and delivered it. I have seen suaver, more self-conscious *Morality Plays.*
Phil lives on the University of Iowa campus -- and far beyond it. Phil is all around us, all the time. And Phil helps make anything possible.
Who's Phil? "Phil," short for "Phil Anthropy," is every single UI giver and beneficiary -- including you!
You can learn more about Phil by viewing our special online presentation of "Phil Was Here," the University of Iowa Foundation's 2010 Annual Report on Giving to The University of Iowa.
Please take a moment to view some of Phil's incredible stories -- and to share yours, if you like, since you're Phil, too.
Thanks, Phil, for all that you do for our remarkable University!
Your Friends at The University of Iowa Foundation"
Dear University of Iowa:
1. You ask me this just out of Uni? In *this* economy? Who is your dealer, because I want a hit of this sweet mind-melting crackity crack you're on.
2. As you may have guessed from the above, I have NO money. In fact, a quick cross-reference with your own internal databases would have shown that I'm in grad school, on heavy student loans, so really, you could have saved yourself some time and me some annoyance by just removing me (and let's be honest, anyone /not/ from Chi-town) from your *immediate* hit-up-list. But you couldn't be arsed, apparently.
3. If I HAD money to give to charity, it would be to something better than you. It would be to *anything* or one I thought might actually need it, before it would be you, for your new football stadium enlargement or whatever the fuck that will almost inevitably be more associated with hawk body parts than the itself-somewhat-problematic-but-at-least-theoretically-respectable college of liberal arts and sciences.
Take a look around your office. Is there a stapler? I would give it to that stapler first. I would sooner paint it a gentle chartreuse, and pay for its upkeep, preservation and maintenance. And dear, dear University of Iowa? I *hate* chartreuse.
4. If I were not already of the above opinion, your vom-inducing shoddy word-play would have signed, sealed and delivered it. I have seen suaver, more self-conscious *Morality Plays.*
