Falderal

I'm not panicky, but I now have mirror!imported!journals on dreamwidth for x_los and x_losfic.

While I'm not too fused about privacy /personally/, I don't like the idea that, for example, half a private b_e mods discussion could be shoved in people's faces because a link was dropped referencing the behavior we're talking about. My decision to mirror is mostly about Fandom Exodus Potential, backup-safety and slight 'well, lj are douches, anything could happen'-ness. I've been on lj six years and am still based there, I just have this alternative back-up option now as well. Friend me if you're there and wish to. :)

Visa Status Update

So, after having been through a whole series of not-very-interesting other steps, I got a kind of discouraging letter from the UK immigration solicitor today. I freaked out rather a lot before realizing that really, it only told me stuff I already knew, and nothing damning. It was more the tone than the content that freaked me out, and that could very easily just be the result of the individual being professional. I asked for a consultation, wrote out and emailed some pertinent facts and questions for it, and there's really little more I can do until Monday, other than Not Freak Out So Much.

I really wanted to wake up Katy and not be alone in my panicking, but I decided there wasn't any point in disturbing her sleep, and sucked it up, took a long bath to calm down, and lay in bed until the racing thoughts began to get smaller and muzzier, finally smothering themselves in a thick haze of a restless sleep. It was burnt like a candle at both ends, too--I was late to bed and early to rise. I woke confused, filtering through where I was, what had happened--I hate mornings after something bad's occurred, the piecing-together process is like a second occurrence of the event, or more like an aftershock.

There's been nothing to do in the period between this starting and now but go to work, not make any definite long-term plans, keep reading my course texts and hang out with Katy a lot in /case/ I do have to go and really not see her for a year. It's sort of lulled me into complacency--it's hard to be PANICKED and do the filing/cook dinner. Everything seems like it'll be all right, or you're too busy with the small annoyances of tube commutes, and the price of sandwiches, and will your check EVER get deposited, to actively worry about large background sources of angst. And I do have a tendency to repress unpleasant information.

So this came as an small shock, when it shouldn't have done. There's a sense of futility in reading course-texts (in doing anything but lying in bed curled into a ball, really), but if I get through and I haven't read them, there will be /that/ to deal with after everything, and no one benefits from sulking--it's not helping anything either way, and I've done more than enough worrying about this.