'Biggest Nerd' and 'Most Likely to Secede from the Union'

Have suddenly remembered how funny my high school superlatives were and added them to my profile. Am still angry over loosing Most 'Interestingly' Dressed to Naomi Dickerson.

I really don't remember any of the others, or who won, though I hazily suspect Todd Gingerich may have been my male cohort in biggest nerd-dom?

Did any of you guys get thingies? I think I would have remembered the ones awarded to y'all, though.

I probably don't remember because I didn't go to Baccawhatsit. Or those award assembly things. Or any assemblies, actually (special thanks to the team with the get away car, who parked so that I could get off stage from that stupid Nat'l Merit b.s. I had to show up for, which enabled me to slink directly 1) from the stage 2) out the side ventilation door 3) into the Gibson car waiting at the bottom of the hill and 4) out to the park for the remainder of the pomp and circumsuck).

Oh, also Special Thanks to Wilson for never appropriately checking the bio-wing doors after the teacher blockade closed in to prevent escape, and to Stover for never properly locking those windows in the journalism lab I used to limbo-shimmy out of. Without you I might have had to find out what happens at a pep rally.

...Also: thanks, Burns, for being too senile and Vietnam'd out to properly wield that claymore you kept in the filing cabinet and occasionally waved at us in a threatening manner, and for specifying, when no one had asked, that you weren't a babykiller because the Vietcong guerrillas you'd offed had all been at least ten. Thanks for specifying that repeatedly. We were all greatly comforted.

'Biggest Nerd' and 'Most Likely to Secede from the Union'

Have suddenly remembered how funny my high school superlatives were and added them to my profile. Am still angry over loosing Most 'Interestingly' Dressed to Naomi Dickerson.

I really don't remember any of the others, or who won, though I hazily suspect Todd Gingerich may have been my male cohort in biggest nerd-dom?

Did any of you guys get thingies? I think I would have remembered the ones awarded to y'all, though.

I probably don't remember because I didn't go to Baccawhatsit. Or those award assembly things. Or any assemblies, actually (special thanks to the team with the get away car, who parked so that I could get off stage from that stupid Nat'l Merit b.s. I had to show up for, which enabled me to slink directly 1) from the stage 2) out the side ventilation door 3) into the Gibson car waiting at the bottom of the hill and 4) out to the park for the remainder of the pomp and circumsuck).

Oh, also Special Thanks to Wilson for never appropriately checking the bio-wing doors after the teacher blockade closed in to prevent escape, and to Stover for never properly locking those windows in the journalism lab I used to limbo-shimmy out of. Without you I might have had to find out what happens at a pep rally.

...Also: thanks, Burns, for being too senile and Vietnam'd out to properly wield that claymore you kept in the filing cabinet and occasionally waved at us in a threatening manner, and for specifying, when no one had asked, that you weren't a babykiller because the Vietcong guerrillas you'd offed had all been at least ten. Thanks for specifying that repeatedly. We were all greatly comforted.