MURDER! (A Rap Song About A Show We All Know And Love)

MURDER!
She wrote it BITCH!

E-Ho-Rak, with assists
from D Boy King

I've been rockin' out with all the crew in Cabot Cove,
Where half the peeps is fishin' and the rest are all just hos.
Drivin' down the street in my Impalla '89,
I see my Great Aunt Jess 'cause she's joggin' right behind.
Headin' to aunt Jess's for some tea and cookies,
(Wish I was headin' to Jess's for some crazy nookies!)

She's a substitute English teacher out there solvin' crimes
And her flow is as dope as our sweet-ass rhymes.
Fletcher knows the streets like I know your mom
Facin' death on the weekly but she never looses calm.
Savin' all her nephews from doin' unjust time,
Then she makes potatoes with sour cream and thyme.
(Delicious, Bitch! Eat it up, eat it up!
Delicious Bitch! Mmm Mmm!)

Friends with Jerry Orbach, he's a Private Eye
He wants but he can't get a taste of Jessie's pie.
(SWEET cherry pie!)

Riding on our bikes, lighting up some fat ass joints,
Later on we be boozin' up at Lighthouse Point.
Thinkin' 'bout the Fletcher I be usin' my left hand.
I'm leavin' evidence that she's made me a man.

WAIT! Here comes Sherrif Amos, he's the popo!
But he and the fletch are on the down-low.
(Secret gay sex, Mmm!)

Fletch is visitin' her friends all across the nation.
When Jess comes into town there's such a celebration.
Or at least there should be, but everybody dies.
I guess that's just what happens when you look in Jess's eyes.
Jess be facin' death like the young and the bold.
Goes to see a friend, bitch is stone cold!

Bow wow, bow wow, not my niece!
Shout out!
She reps J Albert Peabody, don't be gettin' haughty!
If you disrespect a patriot Fletch thinks you gettin' naughty.

Don't be disrespectin' Jess 'cause she's a mystery writer!
You know a six year old? Well the Fletch is tighter!

Peace out!
Cabot Cove represent!

MURDER! (A Rap Song About A Show We All Know And Love)

MURDER!
She wrote it BITCH!

E-Ho-Rak, with assists
from D Boy King

I've been rockin' out with all the crew in Cabot Cove,
Where half the peeps is fishin' and the rest are all just hos.
Drivin' down the street in my Impalla '89,
I see my Great Aunt Jess 'cause she's joggin' right behind.
Headin' to aunt Jess's for some tea and cookies,
(Wish I was headin' to Jess's for some crazy nookies!)

She's a substitute English teacher out there solvin' crimes
And her flow is as dope as our sweet-ass rhymes.
Fletcher knows the streets like I know your mom
Facin' death on the weekly but she never looses calm.
Savin' all her nephews from doin' unjust time,
Then she makes potatoes with sour cream and thyme.
(Delicious, Bitch! Eat it up, eat it up!
Delicious Bitch! Mmm Mmm!)

Friends with Jerry Orbach, he's a Private Eye
He wants but he can't get a taste of Jessie's pie.
(SWEET cherry pie!)

Riding on our bikes, lighting up some fat ass joints,
Later on we be boozin' up at Lighthouse Point.
Thinkin' 'bout the Fletcher I be usin' my left hand.
I'm leavin' evidence that she's made me a man.

WAIT! Here comes Sherrif Amos, he's the popo!
But he and the fletch are on the down-low.
(Secret gay sex, Mmm!)

Fletch is visitin' her friends all across the nation.
When Jess comes into town there's such a celebration.
Or at least there should be, but everybody dies.
I guess that's just what happens when you look in Jess's eyes.
Jess be facin' death like the young and the bold.
Goes to see a friend, bitch is stone cold!

Bow wow, bow wow, not my niece!
Shout out!
She reps J Albert Peabody, don't be gettin' haughty!
If you disrespect a patriot Fletch thinks you gettin' naughty.

Don't be disrespectin' Jess 'cause she's a mystery writer!
You know a six year old? Well the Fletch is tighter!

Peace out!
Cabot Cove represent!

(no subject)

I'm thinking of buying my ibook a bit more memory in Chicago at the apple store. Is that open on Saturdays? Hope so. Does anyone know how big 512 MB are, in terms of stuff? I want to know what I need, and I'm not ever sure how much memory this computer came with. Isn't it 1000 MB to a GB? That doesn't really make sense in terms of the pricing, though. It looks like I can get a student discount, and that's nice.

People were playing with the big chess set from the library today. While not quite life size, it was cute, v. History of the World Part I. Annie and I played, and some random guy wanted a game with me but was such an ass about losing. He dropped a rook, and I offered it back to him and he was all "No, no, I can still win." Suuuuure you can, dude. And then later he was like "I notice you didn't offer me that piece back!" *nastily* Contrasting with Annie and I, who had been playing with take backs. I didn't correct him, I just sweetly offered to go back to the previous position and give him the rook back. "I don't remember it." "I do." Still, he backed out.

His kid had come up, and this little 8 year old had to watch his dad make an ass of himself, I felt so bad for the kid! So the guy goes on to loose spectacularly, not just 'I dropped a rook, ergo.' I'm slinging on my purse and he's all "We'll play again sometime, I was beating you before I dropped my rook." I smile. "Yeah, I was wipping the floor with you before I dropped my rook." Tactfully, I mention that I was up in position (I had a knight too, jackass). "No you weren't! I was winning!" God, you suck.

And he was standing there all through annie and I and the guy before Annie and I sneering and analyzing positions and generally making a know it all jackass out of himself, you'd think he'd back it up with, if not a good game, at least some fucking grace. In front of his 8 year old too! I've never before felt entitled to call ANYONE a patzer? This guy? Patzer. Eugh.

(no subject)

I'm thinking of buying my ibook a bit more memory in Chicago at the apple store. Is that open on Saturdays? Hope so. Does anyone know how big 512 MB are, in terms of stuff? I want to know what I need, and I'm not ever sure how much memory this computer came with. Isn't it 1000 MB to a GB? That doesn't really make sense in terms of the pricing, though. It looks like I can get a student discount, and that's nice.

People were playing with the big chess set from the library today. While not quite life size, it was cute, v. History of the World Part I. Annie and I played, and some random guy wanted a game with me but was such an ass about losing. He dropped a rook, and I offered it back to him and he was all "No, no, I can still win." Suuuuure you can, dude. And then later he was like "I notice you didn't offer me that piece back!" *nastily* Contrasting with Annie and I, who had been playing with take backs. I didn't correct him, I just sweetly offered to go back to the previous position and give him the rook back. "I don't remember it." "I do." Still, he backed out.

His kid had come up, and this little 8 year old had to watch his dad make an ass of himself, I felt so bad for the kid! So the guy goes on to loose spectacularly, not just 'I dropped a rook, ergo.' I'm slinging on my purse and he's all "We'll play again sometime, I was beating you before I dropped my rook." I smile. "Yeah, I was wipping the floor with you before I dropped my rook." Tactfully, I mention that I was up in position (I had a knight too, jackass). "No you weren't! I was winning!" God, you suck.

And he was standing there all through annie and I and the guy before Annie and I sneering and analyzing positions and generally making a know it all jackass out of himself, you'd think he'd back it up with, if not a good game, at least some fucking grace. In front of his 8 year old too! I've never before felt entitled to call ANYONE a patzer? This guy? Patzer. Eugh.