Help!

Okay: This is a deeply pleading letter I need to send to a college in response to my own inability to compile and send in forms. I would really love you forever if you took a look at it and commented on unclear sentences, moments of arrogance needing edited, and general suggestions. I just hope to god they write back with more than 'fuck off, reject.'

Dear University of Chicago Admissions Councilor, Last week I received a letter from your admissions staff informing me that I was not included in your conception of your entering class of Fall 2004. I had recently realized that I had neglected to send in my mid-year report as well as complete my financial aid application. Without these forums my application could not even be properly considered, much less rejected on the basis of my performance as a student. With the debris of my half submitted application floating around you, it must have seemed abundantly apparent that I was no longer interested in studying at your institution. This is a conclusion I too easily allowed to be drawn.

My own negligence, lack of knowledge about the college process and incredible whirlwind busyness are each partially responsible for allaying me in my attempts to present myself to you in the most accurate manner possible. I had no conception of what a mid year report was until I realized mine was past due. I apologize profusely for this. The fault rests with me- no matter how abstracted by my course load and extracurricular commitments, I should not have left unobserved the notices you sent me requesting the missing form.

Yet I am curious as to whether if, I complete the application, you might consider it for wait listing, mid year admission, or even admission into the following year? My commitment to studying at your institution is such that I would joyfully resubmit the whole of the application, if you have discarded the parts in your possession. As your entering class for fall is already composed, I understand if you are unwilling to consider the whole of my application, but rather than invalidate my efforts in submitting it to you and yours in reviewing whatever parts of it you already have I would like to know whether it is admissible for consideration at the other times I have just mentioned, or whether I should immediately begin submitting a midyear or transfer application.

Another possible snag in my quest to gain your favor is the haphazard nature of my grades. I am only too aware that a glance that them reveals an erratic performance record, evidence of an intelligent young woman who does not apply herself as well and thoroughly as she might. If, to you, my GPA and class rank make me a poor candidate, too easily passed by in favor of brighter prospects, I ask what I can do to change your mind. If these are indeed your convictions, I am absolutely committed to doing so.

In absence of permission to attend your institution, I will spend a year as a sophomore (my AP credits will provide for that) at an inarguably lesser institution before attempting a transfer to your school at midyear of the beginning of my junior year. I know that admission decisions change with the nature of applicants offered to you by any particular year, but I wonder, if I demonstrated a turning of stripes, a new commitment to earning grades worthy of your institution, you might be persuaded that I have learned the time management and application skills I previous lacked and am now a good candidate for admission? Indeed, it’s all quite subjective, but some word from you on what I could do to gain your approval other than generalized maxims to excel and distinguish myself would be wonderful.

Should you agree to review my application for this year’s class (the chances of this seem infinitesimally small, but I am a constant font of optimism), I would like you to toss out the half-complete request for financial aid. I have come to realize that in our family’s fiscal situation, it is unnecessary to apply for such aid. I’m not asking you to toss it out in hopes of sweetening my pot- I know your admission is need blind. I just want it known that attention to that aspect of the proceedings is no longer necessary.

If you reconsidered and reviewed my application, I am absolutely confident I would do you credit. My passion and tenacious zeal for learning are rare gifts, and what I treasure most about myself- they would make me an asset to your institution. Even as you contributed to my education, I would, in the manner of symbiosis, be adding a unique and valuable perspective to my classes, a demonstrated commitment to activism to my campus. My grades may have been less than perfection in the past, by I am not incapable of rising to greater things on the stepping-stones of my dead selves, and I doubt that my interest in attending your school is exceeded by your most joyous accepted applicants.

 Please contact me at x_los@yahoo.com or call me at 573-999-2072 (collect, if the expense is distasteful to you). I look forward to knowing if you are at all open to what I have put forward. Sincerely, Erin Horak

Help!

Okay: This is a deeply pleading letter I need to send to a college in response to my own inability to compile and send in forms. I would really love you forever if you took a look at it and commented on unclear sentences, moments of arrogance needing edited, and general suggestions. I just hope to god they write back with more than 'fuck off, reject.'

Dear University of Chicago Admissions Councilor, Last week I received a letter from your admissions staff informing me that I was not included in your conception of your entering class of Fall 2004. I had recently realized that I had neglected to send in my mid-year report as well as complete my financial aid application. Without these forums my application could not even be properly considered, much less rejected on the basis of my performance as a student. With the debris of my half submitted application floating around you, it must have seemed abundantly apparent that I was no longer interested in studying at your institution. This is a conclusion I too easily allowed to be drawn.

My own negligence, lack of knowledge about the college process and incredible whirlwind busyness are each partially responsible for allaying me in my attempts to present myself to you in the most accurate manner possible. I had no conception of what a mid year report was until I realized mine was past due. I apologize profusely for this. The fault rests with me- no matter how abstracted by my course load and extracurricular commitments, I should not have left unobserved the notices you sent me requesting the missing form.

Yet I am curious as to whether if, I complete the application, you might consider it for wait listing, mid year admission, or even admission into the following year? My commitment to studying at your institution is such that I would joyfully resubmit the whole of the application, if you have discarded the parts in your possession. As your entering class for fall is already composed, I understand if you are unwilling to consider the whole of my application, but rather than invalidate my efforts in submitting it to you and yours in reviewing whatever parts of it you already have I would like to know whether it is admissible for consideration at the other times I have just mentioned, or whether I should immediately begin submitting a midyear or transfer application.

Another possible snag in my quest to gain your favor is the haphazard nature of my grades. I am only too aware that a glance that them reveals an erratic performance record, evidence of an intelligent young woman who does not apply herself as well and thoroughly as she might. If, to you, my GPA and class rank make me a poor candidate, too easily passed by in favor of brighter prospects, I ask what I can do to change your mind. If these are indeed your convictions, I am absolutely committed to doing so.

In absence of permission to attend your institution, I will spend a year as a sophomore (my AP credits will provide for that) at an inarguably lesser institution before attempting a transfer to your school at midyear of the beginning of my junior year. I know that admission decisions change with the nature of applicants offered to you by any particular year, but I wonder, if I demonstrated a turning of stripes, a new commitment to earning grades worthy of your institution, you might be persuaded that I have learned the time management and application skills I previous lacked and am now a good candidate for admission? Indeed, it’s all quite subjective, but some word from you on what I could do to gain your approval other than generalized maxims to excel and distinguish myself would be wonderful.

Should you agree to review my application for this year’s class (the chances of this seem infinitesimally small, but I am a constant font of optimism), I would like you to toss out the half-complete request for financial aid. I have come to realize that in our family’s fiscal situation, it is unnecessary to apply for such aid. I’m not asking you to toss it out in hopes of sweetening my pot- I know your admission is need blind. I just want it known that attention to that aspect of the proceedings is no longer necessary.

If you reconsidered and reviewed my application, I am absolutely confident I would do you credit. My passion and tenacious zeal for learning are rare gifts, and what I treasure most about myself- they would make me an asset to your institution. Even as you contributed to my education, I would, in the manner of symbiosis, be adding a unique and valuable perspective to my classes, a demonstrated commitment to activism to my campus. My grades may have been less than perfection in the past, by I am not incapable of rising to greater things on the stepping-stones of my dead selves, and I doubt that my interest in attending your school is exceeded by your most joyous accepted applicants.

 Please contact me at x_los@yahoo.com or call me at 573-999-2072 (collect, if the expense is distasteful to you). I look forward to knowing if you are at all open to what I have put forward. Sincerely, Erin Horak