Behold the fury of Terry Clark, lover of coffee!

[x_los]

Professional Journalists Don't Respond to Flames.

But they totally post them in their ljs.


Ms Horak:

I avidly read your article today being a fan of good coffee and of good gelato. But I found the article arrangement muddled with numerous side paths (what was all the stuff about wildberries - totally worthless) with no mention of coffee until the seventh paragraph. It is a Coffee Company afterall.

But in the end the article was essentially worthless. Why? Because there is no address for the company. Yes there was a vague referrence to the Pedestrian mall, in the first paragraph, but most readers will have forgotten that by the end of the article. You had a side bar that should have contained important information like the address.

In summary I find your reporting lacks precision, you should dig out that unfinished novel and focus on its completion.

Terry Clark
Iowa City, IA


PedMall SO BIG! Too hard to find places in one block of paved space! Need more specific directions! Narrative journalism SO HARD! Coffeeeeeeeeeee!

Comments

[sweetevangeline.livejournal.com]

Ha, ha, ha. What a douche.

Hey. Erin? In case you couldn't read between the lines, this guy thinks you suck. And can't read a phone book. And, honestly, who uses "In summary" in anything other than a term paper? Oooh, I know. You should critique his letter in big fat red pen and then send it back to him. You should. Seriously.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

I do suck. I suck so hard I should um, write a novel?

Can't he google like a normal person if her needs more specific directions than 'right here? no, seriously, these two little niblets of street'? Dude, you're already online, just take it the next step.

I'm so insanely happy I merrited a letter of critique. It feeds my ego. But honnestly, who cares enough to get up on me... about ice cream?

(p.s. do you think that should be 'in summation,' or is it sound? I'm leaning towards the first, but I'm not sure)

[sweetevangeline.livejournal.com]

Right. You stop writing for the free paper and go work on your NOVEL.

This guy is clearly lazy and one of those people who just wants attention. He wants you to feel bad and email him, all aflush with joy at receiving some of his wisdom.

And, yes, this is like fan mail. Only, you know, not.

(I think that you might be right about "in summation". If he was going to use an "in" something, it should've been followed by "conclusion". I'm serious. Ink pen, Erin. Do it. You know you want to.)

[x-los.livejournal.com]

But with ink pen I'd need to like, scan it in and shit. Uncool. Besides, getting into a flamewar when you're like, actually writing for a paper is way Harlan Ellison. I mean I've wanked crazy style in the past, but those slashy days are over...

...or are they?

I love it when random men shower me with their man wisdom. And I love the piercingly written by a guy quality despite the gender ambiguous name. I love the fact that this is the worst article I've ever turned in to the paper, and his point of contention is an inadequate sidebar... that I didn't write.

[sweetevangeline.livejournal.com]

Oh, come on. You know you want to go all insane, Ellison-style. That man is a legend for hating everyone in the world. Well, he was and then he decided to feel someone up on stage at the Hugos, which is pretty naughty, even for Mr. Ellison (but, damn, the man can write). And it's kind of funny because the entire world is angry at him.

This is totally written by a man. It is completely obvious. There is no way it was a girl. No way. You should at least give him a good solid "I didn't write the sidebar, douche" and call it a day.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

I heart your vast collection of Ass-Whoppin icons this morning! They inspire me to heighs of annoyed I was previously too amused to reach!

I could respond in insulting haiku?

Location was clear
My editor writes sidebar
Way to go, nutsack

How do you have time
to care? BTW,
It's, 'In Summation

[sweetevangeline.livejournal.com]

See, the secret is to stay in a constant state of bemused and smug irritation and, therefore, have a smug and amusing collection of pretty pictures to demonstrate this. It's a matter of being prepared.

I think the haiku would be brilliant. I'm fairly willing to bet that he would totally correct your form. "In Japan, it is considered unacceptable to..." Or, you could go for the gold and write a pretty little sonnet for him.

[heather-macleod.livejournal.com]

i am a fan of insulting haiku.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

I have so much hate to give!

[blinkidybah.livejournal.com]

wtf "in summary". what is this, eighth grade english?

and wtf people not thinking of google maps. it thinks of them.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

I love how he uses a rhetorical question midway? Them's fancy oration thar.

"Most of the readers will likely have forgotten that by the end of the article."

And god save us from having to skim the article once more for that aforementioned location...

heh. It does indeed think of them. I don't see why such a specific geographic area as 'right there' needs slimmed down. I respect my Editor's decision not to give a street name to a place with no street signs to use. But if you don't? Google maps thinks of you. Naked.

[anyhennypenny.livejournal.com]

did he put his return address on the envelope? if he didn't, that would be more than a little ironic. if he did, you could thank him for his fan mail.

what a douche!

[x-los.livejournal.com]

No, it's an email.