Going Home, Hopefully

[x_los]

Having been sick for going on three weeks now (working, mind, but sick), I'm deciding to call it. It's not a short term cold/flu with a freaky comic tendency to erupt into deadly nausea when it feels life's gotten too dull, it's Something. And the kibbutz Doctor's not very useful as far as diagnosing my Something. Katy suggested that it might be a small issue aggravated by exhaustion, and I'm afraid she may be right. They were threatening to drag me to the hospital last night, so whatever it is isn't any nicer to look at than it is to experience. I'm afraid I may have mono or a similar serious complaint, and may be making myself worse trying to stay.

I've emailed my family and told them that I'm worried and want to come home. I've sent them a worksheet of the possible pricing options for different flight combos. I'm waiting for them to get back to me.

I'll see Jerusalem before I go if at all possible, and maybe Akko and the Dead Sea if I can swing it, but I'm a bit too sick/exhausted to really care about whether I'll later be annoyed that I didn't Experience whatever.

I'm annoyed with myself because I /said/ a year, but if I'm ill, what can I do? I'm more annoyed about the prospect of packing everything up than anything. I've been having long, extensively detailed dreams of being home, lately, which must say something about my readiness to leave Israel. And I am--and have been--blackly depressed of late, unable to write, sleeping constantly from some twined illness and bad mood, eating almost none of the unappetizing food here from nausea and lack of appetite. I may need mental help as well as physical, or just a change of scenery.

Comments

[aralias.livejournal.com]

glad you're leaving. and if you don;t get to see jerusalem, i'll go back there with you later, i promise.

p.s. yes, i do think jerusalem is like the citadel of the time lords. what of it?

[x-los.livejournal.com]

...that is the only reason you'd go, isn't it? 'Reminds Katy vaguely of TLs...' It is v. pretty, you know. They say. And I'm not dragging you on vacays you'd only wish you weren't on, you know. :p

[aralias.livejournal.com]

it's not enough like the citadel of the time lords for that to really wash, actually. also, i've seen inside the place (citadel, not jerusalem) and it looks like a giant carpark.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

Does it ever jar your sense of irony that you wouldn't actually be an awesomegood companion b/c really you'd rather stay home, avoid danger, and drink tea? And isn't it Four's TARDIS interior that looks like the carpark, whereas we know from Five Doctors the places where the high council hang out are just hyper-gay and over-decorated?

[bagheera-san.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It's probably not like you're going to miss anything except more sickness - sure, the experience has the potential to be great, but not if you only stay there out of a sense of duty/stubborness and feel miserable all the while. Speaking from experience: the worst you can do now is to feel bad about leaving. That won't accomplish anything.

[aralias.livejournal.com]

i try not to think about it like that because it makes me sad. on the other hand, i think i'd like travelling a lot more if i essentailly landed somewhere instantaneously, got told all about it by the doctor, ran around having an adventure and then go to go home in the evening. even if i got captured - at least it's a bit exciting. and i'm sure the doctor would let me drink tea with him sometimes.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

Eight might even share his 'mango teas'...

[aralias.livejournal.com]

I'd insist we got proper tea, even if it was Eight.

[gritsinmisery.livejournal.com]

Best you come home, if you can't get better. Jerusalem is eternal; it will wait for you.

[x-los.livejournal.com]

I think you're wise: I'm recovered enough to look around my bed now and find I've been cuddling my American passport for security. o_O I'll just go back there some other time...

[x-los.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I think you're totally right. I've been doing a bit of ruing, but that's not v. useful. And I'm even kind of excited about being back on my own continent.