x_los: (Spock Tires Of Your Bullshit.)
x_los ([personal profile] x_los) wrote2009-02-10 11:34 am
Entry tags:

Going Home, Hopefully

Having been sick for going on three weeks now (working, mind, but sick), I'm deciding to call it. It's not a short term cold/flu with a freaky comic tendency to erupt into deadly nausea when it feels life's gotten too dull, it's Something. And the kibbutz Doctor's not very useful as far as diagnosing my Something. Katy suggested that it might be a small issue aggravated by exhaustion, and I'm afraid she may be right. They were threatening to drag me to the hospital last night, so whatever it is isn't any nicer to look at than it is to experience. I'm afraid I may have mono or a similar serious complaint, and may be making myself worse trying to stay.

I've emailed my family and told them that I'm worried and want to come home. I've sent them a worksheet of the possible pricing options for different flight combos. I'm waiting for them to get back to me.

I'll see Jerusalem before I go if at all possible, and maybe Akko and the Dead Sea if I can swing it, but I'm a bit too sick/exhausted to really care about whether I'll later be annoyed that I didn't Experience whatever.

I'm annoyed with myself because I /said/ a year, but if I'm ill, what can I do? I'm more annoyed about the prospect of packing everything up than anything. I've been having long, extensively detailed dreams of being home, lately, which must say something about my readiness to leave Israel. And I am--and have been--blackly depressed of late, unable to write, sleeping constantly from some twined illness and bad mood, eating almost none of the unappetizing food here from nausea and lack of appetite. I may need mental help as well as physical, or just a change of scenery.