Oct. 15th, 2012

x_los: (Russian Church)
Tracking what I read is a strange compulsion. On one hand it's a record of accomplishment, a diary, and a resource. I hope to talk to people about things we've both read, because reading is a lonely business, and thinking is only half-done when it's trapped, unarticulated in the reader. Comments sections are something, but they're not the same as sharing a few words or a full dialogue on the subject with people you know well, or hope to come to know well. On the other hand, keeping this sort of record is at best a list of the detritus involved in producing concrete work, and at worst a testament to the amount of pure faffing about I do over the course of a couple weeks.

It does bug me, though, when there's no record--for myself, or for anyone--of what I'm up to. Possibly that's a compulsion born of blogging from an early age. I don't think of it as a narcissistic 'me generation!!' trend-article-spawning psychological issue, though, just--a habit. The diarists of history probably got nervous if they didn't scrawl a few sentences about burying cheese in their commonplace books, well before facebook apparently altered our global subjectivity 4eva. In re: that, this Tolstoy quote's a bit smug, but also a bit true: "People of limited intelligence are fond of talking about "these days," imagining that they have discovered and appraised the peculiarities of "these days" and that human nature changes with the times."

I don't even think this sort of literary accountability is a particularly poor tick to pick up. It has the aforementioned benefits, and it introduces a sort of self-disciplined ordering to one's thoughts and plans, without which days would seem to spin out, messy and forever until they're not. Which of course they do anyway, but in order to get anything done with them, one has to develop a habit of Plot.

So why do you keep this sort of blog/journal? Or why did you, if lj death's driven you off? Fandom participation exclusively, and/or meeting people, and/or forming and presenting yourself via articulation?

I think all of that was why I started blogging (on another site), as a young teenager fresh out of forums, and now my reasons are both simpler (less of the youthful identity politics) and more complicated (what is it to write for myself when so much of my time is spent Forming Opinions and Writing Them professionally, either academically or for other forms of publication? And when I want to also write fiction professionally, but haven't written anything for circulation, or even completed a piece privately, for a while now?). Fandom!death (both LJ and Moffat related, in my corner of the world) has changed things--I no longer feel the same sense of community with a lively interactive group of friends, and it actually really depressed me for a while, more than I might have thought it would. I still enjoy reading friends' entries--sometimes particularly funny/informative/inspiring, sometimes quotidian. I feel warmth towards the writers, and to some degree as though I know them, even if we've spoken outside of lj only spottily for a couple years now.

I don't really have a neat conclusion here. Enjoy, or don't, a crapton of articles, I guess? There are semi-useful section headers this time!



x_los: (Default)

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